I'm no stranger to solo parenting - Andy's job often takes him abroad for days at a time (including when Henry was 14 days old but I'm more or less over the shock of that now) - but 48 hours on my own, 48 days into house arrest, is a whole different kettle of fish.
I didn't really recognise how close I was to the edge while I was in the thick of it, but once Andy got home on Friday afternoon I rather ground to a halt. You'd think he'd been on a military tour for six months, not two hours up the road for a couple of nights. In my defence his absence coincided with a particularly busy work period, which did absolutely nothing for my stress levels.
So suffice to say I skipped the blog yesterday. And today I am taking the lazy way out with a photo montage covering the last couple of days of lockdown tedium.
Normal service should resume tomorrow, unless whatever Boris has to say at 7pm plunges me to new depths of depression, panic and/or acute anxiety.
***
1. And he's off!
Since last I wrote Xander, forever destined to only move backwards, has found the right gear and can now crawl forwards. A momentous occasion observed by absolutely no one. The kids were wrestling on the sofa and I was washing up but was suddenly aware of a very slow but steady 'slap, clunk, slap, clunk' sound. I turned around to see Xander crawling tentatively in my direction, clutching a wooden brick. No fanfare, no fuss, just getting on with it. That's Xander.
And, not content with crawling, he is now practicing standing.
All of which seemed to have worn him out by 5.45pm on Saturday.
2. Baking with children should absolutely, always, be a last resort
I spent so much of Friday at my computer that there was some serious guilt going on come Saturday. I promised Henry I wouldn't work all day and 'play' with him, so come 10am we were using up what little flour we have in the house (gluten free self-raising, incidentally) to bake up an orange sponge cake. But, of course, as soon as there was something to lick I lost my assistants and found myself baking a cake I didn't want and certainly didn't need, on my own.
3. Willingly creating a (chocolate-addicted) monster
I was forced to take bribery to a new level on Friday when I couldn't get either of them off the sofa to get dressed and do some work (the fact it was a bank holiday was ignored because we were so behind with the school work). So before I knew what I was saying I had promised them 'chocolate toast' if they moved sharpish.
As I think I've mentioned previously on this blog, I've managed to keep the existence of chocolate spread under wraps for six years but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do and deal with the consequences later. Their minds were suitably blown by the concept (though Bella thought I was offering to smash an Easter Egg onto a piece of toast so was a bit disappointed all in all) and they have asked for it at least half a dozen times since. I have no regrets.
4. There's been a murder
While I was holed up in the house working on Friday Henry ran in full of excitement to announce there was a dead mouse on the lawn. We all trooped over to inspect it and had a brief discussion about why it was dead.
Henry questioned whether it had died of coronavirus. I mused on whether it had perhaps died of lockdown boredom. Bella optimistically suggested it might be asleep, but a poke with a trowel seemed to eradicate any doubt. Definitely dead.
Eventually we decided to lay the blame at the feet of next door's cat which has recently lost quite a lot of weight and is enjoying moving much faster than we - and presumably the neighbourhood rodents - are used to.
So we did what any normal people would do and held a very sombre funeral for the poor little creature. Henry carefully dug a grave among the bluebells, gently tipped it in off his trowel and slowly covered it up. Then stamped unceremoniously on the soil to compact it. Bella made a cross out of twigs laid over a stone, and Henry attempted to say a prayer which went something like 'Glory to God, Jesus, Amen'. Job done.
5. Waste not want not
Oh, and Bella spent all day Friday in her school uniform. It was her choice and I decided we had nothing to lose seeing as she will probably have grown out of it next time she's required to wear it.
6. Boredom is no obstacle. Boom boom.
And finally, in a moment of desperation, we killed a good 40 minutes creating and then repeatedly playing an obstacle course in the garden. I've enjoyed making this small compilation video to cheer you all up.
Two issues of note: Firstly, I have not included the evidence of my participation. I have some self respect. And secondly, Bella's round is deliberately sped up x20 because she was so slow going round we'd have been here all week. Sorry if it makes you dizzy.
But the best bit is saved right for the end: you can almost see Xander plotting his escape. Now he is mobile the world is his oyster. He just needs to wait for us to leave the garden gate open and he'll be away, lockdown or no.
Comments