My post yesterday seems to have sparked a lot of reaction from different quarters.
Firstly it resonated with a lot of people in a similar situation. Which, if it doesn’t sound selfish, was a relief. It’s good to know I’m not the only one finding this hard.
Secondly, by publicly whinging I gained some crucial perspective in the form of phone calls from the olds. My parents and my mother in law, Judy, each managed to offer supportive words while indirectly reminding me I have it better than most.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely know how fortunate we are. We have a garden, and a house with a bit of space, our kids don’t have behavioural issues (beyond those that come as part of being 6 and 4), I like my husband, I don’t have any physical or mental health problems that I’m trying to manage. And, I’m not alone.
As claustrophobic as all this is making me feel, as much as I’m craving time alone, silence, space to think, I know there are hundreds of people out there - old and young - who would give anything for some company.
And then there’s all the parents who are trying to amuse their children in a three room, fourth-floor flat. I really don’t have a leg to stand on.
And finally, hitting something near rock bottom meant there was only one way to go. So today we did almost no school work, or work work. Henry continued to learn chess online, Bella made a bracelet for her friend Ella (and accompanying card that said ‘I really really love you and miss playing with you’), they watched a movie (their first in a week, about which I was quietly proud), they baked more flapjacks (that’s the bananas all gone) and Bella set about cutting the lawn with scissors.
Henry did do his reading to Judy (we now photograph his reading book, share them on WhatsApp and she listens to him over the phone) and later she read a bedtime story to Bella over Zoom. I chatted to Dad about which of my plants needed pruning and which were probably dead, I got the kids to eat a vegetable-stuffed burrito for tea without complaint and I nearly passed out after liberally spraying the Sainsbury's shop with Dettol.
Definitely a better day.
And hey, tomorrow is the weekend! Which means - you guessed it - absolutely nothing.
Comments