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Writer's pictureSarah

Day 15: To absent friends...

This is Trevor. Variously known round our way as The Good Doctor, Trevvy Fontaine and, on occasion, Captain Peacock. Also, Grandad.


Trevor is Andy’s dad and today was his birthday. He turned 87.

He had cake, and homemade cards and singing. We think. Because sadly Trevor is in a care home and visitors are, of course, banned.


Outsiders haven't been allowed into the home since mid-March so Judy, his wife of nearly 45 years, who used to visit him every day (sometimes more than once), hasn’t been able to see him for three weeks, nor celebrate his birthday with him today. Instead she took over a box of bits and bobs for him and left them outside the front door. Summer clothes, a new pair of slippers, some cards that had been sent to their house….


Trevor was diagnosed with Alzheimers a few years ago but it was no surprise to the family as he had been experiencing obvious memory loss for years. The disease advanced quite quickly over the last couple of years and after a spell in hospital over Christmas and New Year it was decided, with much sadness, that he needed the 24-hour professional care that only a specialist home could offer.


There is so much sadness that he and Judy are now separated by the threat of Coronavirus, but also some relief that comes with the knowledge that she absolutely wouldn’t have been able to cope on her own during this time, without the carers that were coming in every day nor the visitors that offered moral and emotional support that so many people who care for loved ones rely on.

While Alzheimers is a horrible illness, there is a slight comfort that Trevor’s is advanced to the point that none of this will register for him. I can only imagine how appalled he would be at the cancellation of the cricket season or spring golf tournaments that he loved to watch.


So this post goes out to everyone who is separated from their parents and older relatives at the moment. People who would love to give their mum a hug, or watch the football with their dad, or just go and hang out without it being a big drama.


Happy Birthday Dr Wragg, we’ll see you soon. xx



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