Day 14: See, it's not all bad!

My sister told me today that I needed to find something more cheerful to write about. I have been aware that this blog is a bit of a depressing read but I didn’t want you all to think we were having a great time, so I’ve been holding back on the tales of hilarious Spring Break-style fun we’ve been having. I need to save something for the Christmas round robin.

But my public has spoken, so here’s an overview of all the positives I’ve been depriving you of hearing.

• We have definitive confirmation that Bella takes after my mother. The other day she announced she wanted mayonnaise for pudding. “Mayonnaise, all by its own.”

• The kids found a Christmas straw that boomed ‘Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!’ every time liquid was sucked through it. Which obviously meant every drink was consumed in single sips only. Oh how we enjoyed that!
  

• We are re-discovering the joys of Spotify algorithms. After playing The Only Way Is Up when it got stuck in my head on Day Eight, we were then served an array of excellent historical releases including East 17’s Stay Another Day, SClub’s Reach for the Stars and The Locomotion by Kylie. Spotify apparently climbed into my brain and selected three songs that evoke the strongest of memories for me, which made me incredibly happy. (The Christmas of Year 8, post-A Levels at The Orchard in Wycombe, and late-80s dance routines with my sisters. Evidence below.)

• Someone phoned up a request show on Radio 2 and dedicated You’re Still The One by Shania Twain to his wife, Linda, who he publicly announced he loves more today than he ever has before. I told Andy if he ever pulled something like that on me I’d leave him. He concurred. Which reassured me that after all this time we’re still on the same page.
  

• Nonetheless I may yet have to leave him for his absolute inability to wash up water flasks. We have less in circulation now the kids aren’t going to school but no matter how spotless the kitchen is after Andy has cleared up, there will always and without fail be a few water flasks remaining, unwashed. What is that about?
  

• The man over the road saw us open the door to the postman and immediately came over and shouty offered us some eggs. He doesn’t have chickens. I wonder if he was just showing off that he has so many of the things, but we called his bluff and took nine off him.
  

• Andy found a dead bumble bee the size of a potato in an empty plant pot and produced it over lunch, where it lay curled up in the middle of the table for the duration. I obviously couldn’t take my eyes off it for fear it would get a second wind and start buzzing towards me. It now lives on the kitchen windowsill, naturally.

• After Joe Wicks came into our lives Henry wanted to know more about him. I showed him Joe’s Instagram feed and he can now do a remarkable ‘AND THAT RIGHT THERE IS LEAN IN 15!” impression. Which he has added to his heavily accented “Ah’m Kieran and ah’m Scawtesh” refrain.

So there you have it. A few of the highlights in amongst all the shouting and angst. I bet you’ll all be grateful for the moaning next time.